“Im A Follower”

I’ve always told my daughter she is a leader. She is strong, assertive and likes things her own way.

UNTIL KINDERGARTEN.

In the seven weeks she’s been “all gown up” she’s made new friends and has picked up a few things from them. First it was bossy, aggravated words. So….we had a talk.  We memorized Proverbs 15:1 as a family~ A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Any time we spoke in this manner, whomever was aggravated quoted this verse, calmed down, and started over, addressing one another in a respectable tone. I must admit, I now know this verse by heart.

I allowed her to wear pink lipstick to school as a reminder of how God wants us to guard our mouths. We must be careful to say words that build others up, never tearing them down.

Next, it was “everyone was doing it”. She was learning to follow, not lead!! I guess I thought I was safe. She goes to Christian school. Surely the students there listen to the same music as we do and have the same standards as the church.

Totally wrong.

As hard as my husband and I are trying to instill in her christian morals, the world is there luring her away. She’s five, not fifteen! Why would you want your little girl singing “Don’t you wish your girlfriend was hot like me,” and dancing inappropriately? Are we teaching our daughters to be young ladies that respect themselves and their bodies anymore? That our bodies are the temple of Christ?

I felt disappointed….. At the parents, at the students, and at my daughter for following.

As I prayed over her, I covered her friends, her teachers, and her choices. I asked God to make her a leader instead of a follower. At that moment I realized that we’re all followers. We all follow something. Good or bad.

We may follow when others are talking about someone who’s bound up in sin, not being concerned how our words hurt them.

We may follow when our spouse says there not going to church today, and we go to the lake instead.

We may follow when we don’t have the money to spend but aren’t willing to wait, leaving our lives bound to debt.

We may follow when others are listening to music that doesn’t uplift Jesus, feeling like an outcast when we don’t know the “popular songs.”

We may follow when we settle for an immitation of marriage by just living together, or playing the role of wife.

What would happen if we decided to follow Jesus?

If every decision we made, we first asked Him…..What would YOU do?

If we loved our spouses like God instructed.

If we forgave like He forgave us.

If we wore clothing that He approved of and didn’t tempt others to lustful thoughts.

If we spoke how He spoke.

If we thought like He thought.

If we watched the movies or TV shows He would watch.

It’s my job to help my daughter know her strengths and weaknesses and use them to glorify God. To walk in His love by example, not mere instruction because just like in kindergarten, more is caught than taught.

1Corinthians 11:1~Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ. 

“The waiting period

We hear so much praise on the “answered prayers” that often it becomes discouraging for those who are still in the midst of “the waiting period.”  It tends to swell up feelings or questions inside our spirit that make us doubt Gods love for us.

Does He love some people more than others?

Does He answer “yes” for a chosen few and “no” for the rest of us?

Does He want some of us to always struggle and have it hard?

Or is it that the ones of us that have it the hardest have such a calling on their lives that they are the most attacked?

I was lead to the story of Mary and Martha.  (Luke 10:38-42) As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed them into her home. Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lords feet, listening to what he taught. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” And Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.”

Martha always gets the tough end of the deal. First of all, she is the one who invited Jesus into her home. Since she was the oldest, she probably was used to being in control. She worried about details and wished to please, serve, and to do the right thing. Seriously…..if Jesus were coming to your house how would you respond? You wouldn’t leave clothes in the floor or dishes in the sink. I’m sure she was polishing the silver, wiping the walls, knocking down cobwebs, and anything else that caught her eye. She wanted the best for Him. She worked hard to please Him and still it didn’t appear to be enough!!

Now, here was her younger sister Mary, who probably was a spoiled brat and got everything she wanted. She did none of the work and she was the one sitting at the feet of Jesus, relaxing, listening to His teachings!!

Doesn’t sound fair does it? Mary didn’t invite Jesus, she didn’t prepare the meal, set the table, or probably even clean up afterwards!! Yet she was reaping all the benefits. Martha, by all rights, felt frustrated. Her frustration was so intense that she finally asked Jesus to settle the matter. I’m sure if she went to Jesus himself to settle it that she didn’t expect for Him to correct her! She must have felt like her work and her feelings were truly justified.

She is most likely feeling embarrassed because she even bothered going to Jesus, feeling unloved, unworthy, taken advantage of, and just plain ole discouraged. She thought she’d done all the right things yet didn’t seem to be appreciated.

I’m sure her baby sister tortured her after that day letting her know how “unimportant” helping her was. Martha was probably left feeling like some people are made to do the work, and some are made to reap the benefits. All she knew was SOMEBODY HAD TO DO IT……believing it was just her fate to have it hard and take care of everyone.

Being gifted with a leadership personality, she probably continued to serve in her home and community after Jesus left, doing what she did best. Working and entertaining people in her home. In those days it was a social requirement in their culture. It was considered shameful to turn anyone away from your door. Most likely she also carried a scar of humility and a touch of anger, but continued showing hospitality with fine detail to try and prove her importance.

Since she was the oldest, she probably carried most of the burdens for her siblings, praying for them and keeping family unity. She was probably the one everyone went to with their problems because she was “the strong one” and the most trusted. Yet under the surface, the kindest, and most sensitive. Only longing to feel loved and important.

By her family.

By Jesus.

By everyone.

Why did it always seem so hard? Nothing was ever made easy for Martha!! The harder she worked, the more that was expected! She was trying to do the right things but wasn’t willing to let go of her control.

Martha and Mary both loved Jesus.

Jesus loved both Martha and Mary.

On this occasion they were both serving Him. But Martha thought Mary’s style of serving was inferior to hers. Jesus didn’t blame Martha for being concerned about her chores, He was only asking her to make Him her top priority!! Life can degenerate into mere busywork that is totally devoid of devotion to God. Our focus can veer off track and become targeted on our children, our spouse, our ministries, and even ourselves.

Those things are to be made a priority, but not our main focus. We tend to get so wrapped up in doing the best we can, that we forget we can’t.

We can’t do anything without Him!

Today if your feeling tired, alone, used up, and just plain ole discouraged like Martha, rest assured that God has a plan for His delay.

Waiting periods do come to an end…..Your name will be called.

Maybe Gods waiting on you…..To release control of any and everything in your life that’s hindering your relationship with Him.

Choose today to allow God to be your guide, moment by moment, step by step. Isaiah 58:11~The Lord will guide you continually, and satisfy your soul in drought, and strengthen your bones; you shall be like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail. 

Walking in His Love……

Putting Him first. Matthew 6:33~But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Knowing He has a purpose. Exodus 9:16~But indeed for this purpose I have raised you up, that I may show My power in you, and that My name may be declared in all the earth.

“My first day of Kindergarten”

I am a mother of a Kindergartener.  School started this week and not only has my daughters life changed, but also mine.

I had so much anxiety leading up to this moment.  It wasn’t that I was scared she wouldn’t fit in, that someone would harm her, or that she was going to grow up so fast, as everyone had warned me.  Mine was more of a selfish anxiety.

I wanted to be a stay at home mom.  Period.  My hearts desire was to be able to be the mom and wife God called me to be.  In my mind I couldn’t do that working.  At least not everything I wanted to do.  This beginning for her was an ending for me!  I would never have the chance to stay at home with her again.

I felt sad!

Why did God not allow this dream of mine to be fulfilled?  The Bible says “He will give you the desires of your heart” right?

I know the order God designed the family to be in!!  God first, your husband, your children, THEN your job, ministry, etc.  Somehow I could not make this work.  The one thing in life I wanted the most, I couldn’t have.

I am a pretty positive person (and a perfectionist might I add) so I tried to make the best of everything, using the time I did have as quality time.  Games, movies, swimming, parks….. anything you could think of, we did together, as a family, and it was awesome!!

Family game night! (My husband would let us win at UNO once in awhile)

We had a date night every Thursday, just she and I.  “Girl time” as we call it.  We stayed up late talking and laughing!  We watched cartoons and ate junk food in my bed until daddy came home!

We had bedtime stories snuggled up together nightly.

I shared with her my love for gardening and fresh flowers.  How to get away from “the noise” in nature and enjoy Gods creations.

She would walk the yard with me in the morning while having my prayer time, as she listened quietly and occasionally asked questions.

She learned to make her own bed every morning.

To clean up her toys.

To share. (Everything but her blankie and Lucky the dog :))

To love.

To pray.

All of this TOGETHER!

BUT IT STILL DIDN’T FEEL LIKE ENOUGH!!!!

The night before her first day, as I was packing her Hello Kitty lunch box, I broke down!   As I cried, I prayed out loud and lifted her up to Jesus.  I prayed for her teacher, her new friends, her safety, her God given purpose, even down to her husband.  I asked God to help me be the mother she “needed,” not the mother I “wanted” to be.  My heart was broken.  I cried and prayed until I got it all out, feeling so sleepy that I was ready for bed.

The week before, we redecorated her room and organized everything.  We got rid of all the “baby” things she no longer needed since she was going to “kindergarten.”  We came across a devotional her Nana had given her a few years ago, “Gods Little Princess Devotional Bible” by Sheila Walsh.  God laid it upon my heart to introduce this to her with her new “big girl” routine.

The first morning came.  We had waffles with chocolate milk in her own coffee cup, at the table, TOGETHER.  As we sat there reading that morning,  it was if God was speaking straight to me from Heaven!  Rebekah was just going out to the well to get water, like she did every day.  She didn’t know that God was watching.  God was planning her future.  By watering a strangers camels, she was chosen for a new royal position.  God picked her to become Isaacs princess bride.  She would become the mother of Jacob.  Jacob became the father of Israel, Gods chosen people.

It went on to say “God is watching.  He is training you for your special calling one day. God uses the ordinary things~like watering camels (maybe it’s feeding your cat) and serving others to do mighty works.  Like Rebekah, we need to be busy loving Jesus by serving others.  God will move at just the right time to work out His amazing plan for your life.

I felt like I had crawled into my fathers lap and He assured me “I dont have to be perfect because HE IS.”

I felt His comfort.

I felt His love.

I felt at peace KNOWING God was watching!  (Job 10:12~You gave me life and showed me kindness, and in your providence watched over my spirit.)

KNOWING He knows the desires of my heart!  (Psalm 37:4~Delight yourself in theLord and He will give you the desires of your heart.)

KNOWING He has a plan for my daughters life, using my life as her mother!  (Jeremiah 29:11~”For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans togive you hope and a future.)

KNOWING that He is working ALL THINGS together for my good!  (Romans 8:28~And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.)

KNOWING that even though I didn’t get to stay home, “WE” are in this TOGETHER!!  God, my husband, myself, and my daughter. In ordinary, everyday life.  Walking in His love……KNOWING HE IS ENOUGH!!  Deut 31:8~The Lord himself goes before you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.  Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged.)


“The light came on”

 

Setting this page up was extremely hard for me. I’m certainly no computer genius…… Actually, I’m a computer dummy!! As I was going through all the steps and learning different tools to use and HOW they were used, a light came on each time leaving me more confident.  

Apple has made my life so much easier. It’s actually pretty simple now that I know what I’m doing and how to use it. The more I use it, the more clear things are and how they are applicable in my life. I remember sitting there with my husband and “the light came on” and saying “that’s so much easier, I was killing myself doing it the hard way”! I had all these apps that I didn’t know how to use. Each time I tried I got frustrated and quit because it was just too hard! It was so much easier for him or someone else to just do it for me!! 

In doing that, I was leaving myself defeated each time because I never learned anything….. leaving me in the same defeated spot! 

Why is it so intimidating? 
Why am I scared to step out on my own and fail?
Why is it so easy for eveyone else?
What if I messed everything up?

As I looked down at my IPhone I saw all the apps staring at me. They have always been there, I just didn’t know how to use them. They had just made my life so much easier! They were right in front of me all the time! It reminded me of the books of the Bible in Gods word. There is so much knowledge right there if we just take the time to put it into practice in our lives, not allowing it to overwhelm us. 

 It becomes easier the more we practice it’s instructions. 

We’ve seen it work in so many people’s lives but don’t know the power in our own. 

We kill ourselves doing it the hard way!

We get frustrated when we read the word and give up. 

We depend on our pastor to study and bring the word to us because its easier than studying on our own.

Why is it so intimidating?
Why are we scared to step out and fail?
Why is it so easy for everyone else?
What if we mess up everything?

To allow “your light to come on” you must get in the instruction manual daily. You don’t have to depend on your pastor or anyone else to connect you to God! The more you read and connect with the Holy Spirit, the more you will learn. Your confidence IN HIM will grow and life will become easier as you let Him lead. You’ll discover “you’ve been killing yourself doing it the hard way”.

Satan wants you to give up and just think the power of the Holy Spirits only for “other people”! Let me assure you today THE SAME POWER GOD USED TO RAISE UP JESUS, HE WANTS TO USE TO RAISE YOU UP!!! 

Don’t settle for a life of defeat!! Romans 8:37 is proof!! 
IN ALL THINGS (He didn’t say some things) In all things we are more than conquerors THROUGH Him who loved us. 

“Show them your hands”

One of my biggest adult problems has been pride. I’ve never liked to share my sins and heartaches simply because people seem to be so judgmental. At times this can make problems worsen.

There are very few people who actually pray with and for you, carrying part of your burden. Fortunately, God blessed me with a friend who is a “in the middle of the night friend” and walked me through my hurts of life – step by step- revealing all her scars in the process. This allowed me to see my need in sharing my experiences with others for theirs and my own personal healing.

Since today is Easter, I was lead to the passage in John 20:19-23. On that Sunday evening the disciples were meeting behind locked doors because they were afraid of the Jewish leaders. Then Jesus came and stood in the middle of them and said, “Peace be with you.” (John 20:19 NIV84) As he spoke, he showed them the wounds in his hands and side. They were filled with joy when they saw the Lord! That reminded me of the joy I felt as my friend revealed her wounds, helping me find peace in mine. Jesus could have chosen to remove those scars when he was resurrected from the dead but didn’t, just as we cant remove ours. For the remainder of his time here, he ministered through them. Revealing them, giving God the glory!

That’s why I believe God hears and understands our pain and desires for us to share our stories, ministering through them.

He kept those scars as a lasting image of wounded humanity. In order to find peace in the midst of our pain and struggles, we must be willing to “show our hands” so that others may also find the same healing power.

We all have a past.

We all have wounds.

Bring them to Jesus today and let him make you whole in body, mind and soul; using them to reveal his strength.

Allow him to take what the devil intended to destroy your life and use it to glorify him.

It wasn’t until after Jesus revealed his scars to the disciples that he said, “As the Father has sent me, so I am sending you.” (John 20:21 NIV84) Then he breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit”. (John 20:22 NIV84) God’s first breath made man different from all other forms of creation, and through the breath of Jesus imparted eternal, spiritual life. With this came the power to do God’s will on earth.

Without the scars, there would be no proof. Your scars, and your past, are your proof of a new life in him. Just as God sent his son to use his scars, he is sending you to use yours.

Have all the scars of life made you hard, bitter, unforgiving and angry?

Do you feel like someone has done something so terrible and life destructing to you that you can’t possibly forgive them?

Or maybe you were the one in the wrong and can’t forgive yourself?

The way to finding peace is through your scars and hurts…. letting Jesus shine through them, finding healing. Today is the day of resurrection. If you don’t know Jesus, allow him to breathe on you today and receive the Holy Spirit.